I like watching Once Upon a Time because it creates a back story to help us understand the actions of the villains from classic fairy tales. For awhile we're sympathetic to them because of the plight that made them this way. Until they later do not own up to their actions and instead try to play the victim, thus turning back to their evil ways. I like to take this approach when thinking about Judas. Although we don't know how long Jesus knew Judas would betray him, the Father had to know all along and I'm sure Jesus prayed before choosing the twelve. So I always wonder if Judas was chosen just to play the role of villain or if he had a pure heart in the beginning but would inevitably be led astray and God chose to use that quality.

There are so many questions surrounding Judas. Did he ever truly believe that Jesus was the Son of God? Did he know what would happen to Jesus after he betrayed Him? I tend to think the answer to the second question is no. He spent three years with Jesus. He saw Him do miracles. He saw Him disappear in the middle of a crowd. I almost feel like it was a bad prank gone wrong. Judas got greedy and saw it as an opportunity to pay Jesus back for doing things he didn't approve of. Maybe he thought, since Jesus knew what he was doing, he would disappear before he got back. Maybe he thought he would perform a miracle and turn their swords into salamanders. Maybe he thought He would be taken to the Romans, given a bit of public flogging and then sent on His way. None of the disciples expected the events that took place. We have no reason to believe that Judas was any different.

It is important to me to remember that Judas may not have been a super villain. He may have been a guy with good intentions who suffered from greed and other afflictions that everyone else deals with. Some speculate he only followed Jesus because he thought he would rise to power. This may be true, but three years is a long time to wait and if he did think He would rise to power, it's because he believed that He was the Son of God. This is important for me because, in remembering this, I realize that I'm not that much unlike Judas.

I love Jesus. I believe He is the Son of God. I'll follow where He leads me. But I can be really, really selfish sometimes. I want love, I want comfort, I want acceptance, all on my own terms. And like Judas' reaction when Jesus' feet were washed in expensive perfume, sometimes the things acceptable to God are not acceptable to me. And sometimes, like Judas, I choose to take matters into my own hand, to produce an outcome more appealing than what God has done so far. I try to rush His plan along, or change it completely. I think, one small pleasure won't hurt anything. After all the worldliness I sacrifice, surely I deserve it, right?

Judas just wanted money, and maybe to teach Jesus a lesson. Instead, his actions led to the death of the Lamb. And while God purposed this for His glory, Judas never recovered and eventually lost his life. There are many justifiable speculations that say that Judas lived long enough to see the resurrected Savior. But even with that He still lost it all. I've seen many people plagued by their humanity to the point where they are unable to recover from an act of weakness.

Weakness is inevitable. Only through God's strength do I have the power to keep from becoming like Judas.