...because He first loved me.

I've written a lot about love. If you don't want to sort through all my old posts you can read my most verbal entry about love here. That entry is full of verses and truths. This entry will be filled with opinion. I try to shy away from doing that, but I feel it is founded opinion and I need to get it out.

When I was a kid, the pastor at my church often sang the song "Oh, How I Love Jesus." One day when she sang it she started with an intro of "Sandrene, do you love Jesus?" to which I had to sing back. She followed up with "Do you really love Jesus?" and "Tell me why you love Jesus." I listed off all my multitude of reasons, in true 7 or 8 year old fashion. She then did this with several other kids in our group, then asked us to ask her. When she got to "Tell me why you love Jesus?" she also listed several reasons, and then followed up with the last line of the chorus, "because He first loved me." At that moment, it breathed new life into the meaning of that song for me, and the depth of my relationship with God.

So many people see the New Testament as the love story and the Old Testament as the book about the tyrant Father. And while the OT tells more stories about the vengeful side of God, the Bible tells us that God is always the same. So the God of love if the NT is the same God of the OT. And John 3:16 says "For God so loved the world..." It's not that Jesus came and then God loved. God loved, so Jesus came. The sacrifice of the Son was a manifestation of the Father's love for us, not a conduit that allowed Him to love, as some would frame it to be.

This just proves to me that love is reciprocal. And I see it echoed in life. As a child, I obeyed my mother because she loved me and I loved her. As an adult, I now do things for her because of that love relationship. The same is true of my friends. I spend time with them, listen to them, help them, not because I feel obligated to, but because I love them. Even with God, I obey His commands with gladness because I love Him. And because I know He loves me and wants what's best for me. In none of these situations is it a chore or feels like a list of demands or requirements for a relationship. For the most part, it comes naturally.

So, what of those who I don't give to as easily? And, more relevant to my current situation, what of those who don't give to me? The ones who don't ask what's wrong because they're afraid of the answer, or just don't want to spend time listening to it? The ones who won't commit to doing something in case something better comes along? The ones who choose what is convenient for them over a commitment made to a friend? To me, this is not love. And anything outside of love is not beneficial.

God loves regardless of who loves Him back. So, no matter how difficult it may be sometimes, I need to do the same. But there is also a separation between God and those who choose not to love Him. Part of me feels like this should be true of us as well. Letting people who only receive love into my inner circle has brought nothing but heartache. So, at least for a little while, I will hold people who do not actively love me back at arm's length away. My life may become an island as a result of it, but at least my island won't be on fire.